Time for a little lip service

Vanity, thy name is Botox.

This week while driving, I encountered such fake beauty I could not help but stare — not once, but five times.

I was stared in wonderment as I tried to work out why so much attention to a face was required to function as a motorist.

I’m talking about lip implants. Big phat ones, like sausages you purchase to keep hungry children content at a birthday party. Lipolatas?

Social media, selfies and reality TV celebrities are among the influences driving millennials to use Botox, and American Society for Aesthetic Plastic Surgery says the number of women aged between 19 and 34 having the  procedure has jumped 41 per cent since 2011.

Some call it ‘the Kardashian effect’ or ‘Selfie Mania’ — but it’s clearly linked to the sheep syndrome.

Start something silly and the rest will follow.

Is the cosmetic procedure designed to enhance features?

I think it detracts from natural lips and reminds the rest of the world what a good film Finding Nemo was.

Positioned behind one of these drivers in traffic I could see the rear view mirror was focused on the lady driver herself, and not the road behind.

In all five other cases the sun visor was down with vanity mirror also squarely reflecting the obvious protrusion of abundant lip.

While at any set of traffic detainment and even while driving, there was a staggering amount of facial recognition time required for the pilots of a Mercedes G wagon , BMW 120i, Hyundai i40, Porsche Cayenne and Jeep SRT — to keep operational.

Some spent time giving their top lips a tongue massage too.

In any event these creatures do not engage with any glances made toward them, as they were clearly too fragile to look at anything but themselves.

Maybe at the road for a second or two, then back to the mirror again.

The danger to other motorists is abundant, as there is a clear lack of regard for anything but lip lobby or distortion.

Lipolatas take heed. Others, stay well aware of this breed of exotic, fishy-faced wannabe socialites while on the road.

And don’t get me started on people who pay extra for pants torn at the knees.

That’s fashion?

Do they pay a premium for new pre-crashed cars?

Get a life, Lipolata ladies.

Don’t let  your vanity endanger other people on the road.

Pucker up!

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