Thor: Love and Thunder — but not much else!

With no plans to retire anytime soon, God of Big Guns Chris Hemsworth has taken Thor out of the cupboard for another outing in the latest addition to the Marvel franchise Thor: Love and Thunder.

With so many dollars and such a large amount of money spent on the promotion of these superhero films, it’s difficult to turn them down when they pop up on your favourite streaming service — in this case Disney+.

At least I find it difficult to move on, but move on I most certainly will after watching this latest, extremely disappointing effort — and that’s being kind.

Here’s an hour and 58 minutes that I won’t get tback . . . What were they thinking?

A sequel to the 2017 film Thor: Ragnarok, Love and Thunder marks Hemsworth’s eighth appearance as the hamy, heavily-muscled, hammer-wielding Norse God of Thunder.

Directed by Taika Waititi, who co-wrote the script with Jennifer Kaytin Robinson, the film stars Chris Hemsworth as Thor alongside Christian Bale, Tessa Thompson, Jaimie Alexander, Waititi, Russell Crowe, and Natalie Portman.

The plot, if you can call it that, finds Thor hanging out looking for a bit of peace and quiet.

But he’s forced to take up arms and get the gang back together to stop a villain Gorr the God Butcher (Bale) from knocking off a growing list of gods with his lethal special weapon the Necrosword.

The help includes Valkyrie (Thompson), Korg (Waititi), and Jane Foster (Portman) who we find has undergone a remarkable transformation to return as the Mighty Thor.

The Guardians of the Galaxy also make a cameo in the early part of the proceedings.

It’s all a tad confusing to anyone with a passing knowledge of Mythology. The Norse and Greek gods were from different eras and different cultures, but here they confront each other in the same arena.

Enter stage left a chubby, bearded, glittering Russell Crowe, as the mighty Zeus, King of the Olympians and Greek God of Thunder and Lightning, surrounded by a bevy of beauties.

Thor wants to borrow Zeus’ Golden Thunderbolt to help defeat Gorr, but Zeus who sounds more like an Italian mafioso than the King of Gods — ain’t having a bar of it.

His performance is almost a parody and even the most committed fan could have problems with this scenario.

Director Waititi reportedly wanted to differentiate Love and Thunder from Ragnarok, seeking to make it more of a romance and 1980s style adventure.

He adapted elements from Jason Aaron‘s time on the Mighty Thor comic book, which sees Foster take on the mantle and powers of Thor — at the same time receiving treatment for terminal cancer.

Robinson, best known for the the MTV show Sweet/Vicious, was enlisted to help with the script in February, 2020.

Delayed by the COVID, they finally began shooting the film in Sydney in January last year, winding up at the beginning of June.

At best Thor: Love and Thunder is a children’s film, with its cheesy dialogue and scenes that are pantomime-like at times.

I mean, how can you take this thing seriously with lines like these?

Jane Foster: “I’m not Lady Thor. My name is Mighty Thor! And if that’s still too hard for you, you can call me Dr Jane Foster!

“And one last thing: EAT MY HAMMER!”

It’s a real family affair too, with Hemsworth’s wife and kids all getting a part.

Sons Sasha and Tristan play young Thor (at different ages) in the film
Daughter India Rose plays Gorr’s daughter Love
Brother Luke plays a stage actor portraying Thor
Wife Elsa Pataky plays Wolf Woman a former lover

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Pataky’s action flick Interceptor (2022), for which Hemsworth served as executive producer, was pretty lame — but it reads like Shakespeare compared to this pile.

In 2020, Hemsworth, then 37 years old, said he wanted to continue playing Thor after Love and Thunder.

“I’m not going into any retirement period,” pointing out the character was “way too young for that”.

And why would he? Hemsworth is now one of the world’s highest-paid actors, with earnings estimated at US $130 million.

Not bad for a young bloke who got his start in the Aussie soapie Home And Away back in 2004.

Previous films that have featured Thor include Thor (2011), The Avengers (2012), Thor: The Dark World (2013), Avengers: Age of Ultron (2015), Thor: Ragnarok (2017), Avengers: Infinity War (2018), Avengers: Endgame (2019).