DO you have one of those little green cardboard pine trees dangling from your car’s interior mirror, or in front of one of the air vents?
Those things are commonplace, because they emit a pong that’s mildly less offensive than the plasticky interior of a car left out in the midday sun with the windows closed.
Worse still are cars that have retained the aftermath of spilt milk, the remnants of that curry dish that junior dropped and didn’t clean up too well, a sweaty sock that mysteriously disappeared somewhere under a seat, or a myriad other nasties that make occupants ask: Yuk, what’s that smell?.
A little tree can only do so much to improve things – and they do look awfully yesteryear. There are, of course, other types of odour minimisers, and one French brand of car even had a selection of fragrances in its own accessory kit.
However, now there’s a range of air fresheners with real flair, something more in keeping with your status and that of your car, and they’re quite affordable: mostly around $10 to $20 on Amazon.
Among them is one that looks like a Land Rover Defender, or, depending on your eyesight, it could be a Ford Bronco, and they come in a three-pack with Ocean Breeze, Black Diamond, and Jasmine scents.
For the technically or performance minded, there’s an image of a turbocharger with a smell described as ‘new car’.
If you have a prestige vehicle, you might want to look at something more blingy, such as the Diamond Logo freshener which is offered with a variety of car logos.
For this one, you need to provide your own perfume. Just add your Estee Lauder, Old Spice, Tommy Hilfiger or whatever, and the shiny device diffuses the smell through wee gaps on the top.
Actually, you’d probably be better off using one of the great many essential oils, rather than a perfume. There’s oregano, frankincense, orange, bergamot and 40 more to choose from.
Some might even be beneficial to your health, and a deep breath might clear your mind of the ‘mental issues’ that seem to be bothering every Thomas, Richard and Harold these days.
For the forgetful, there’s a ‘check engine light’ air freshener to prevent hefty mechanical repairs. It comes in a ‘new car smell’ six-pack.
For a few bucks more there’s the iconic VW Kombi in a twin-pack with a tropical smell, and if you have a Tesla, well, a little pine tree would look ridiculous.
Far better to have a drawing of its creator dispensing the scent.
It’s called Elon’s Musk and it emits ‘high notes of vegan leather and low notes of rocket fuel.’
Ford fans might opt for a two-pack in classic Ford blue, which Amazon says ‘smells like Chevy tears with a hint of vanilla.’
And then there’s one for vintage racing car tragics that strays from the traditional hanging air fresheners.
This one has a ‘cool vintage racing design’, clips onto the air vent and distributes an orchid scent throughout your car.
Any of the above must surely be an improvement on the ubiquitous little pine tree, and you’ll bask in joy when your passengers get into your car and say, ‘ooh, what are wearing?’ or something equally flattering.