WHO remembers the song Anything You Can Do I Can Do Better?
It was written by Irving Berlin back in 1946, but it came to mind when a report from Baesweiler, a city in Germany, landed on my desk — followed just hours later by another from the US.
The Baesweiler news was that a local motor tuning company called Wheelsandmore, yes, just one long word, had whacked an extra 150kW into a Mercedes-AMG G63.
Now those particular SUVs have far more power than they’ll ever need, like 430kW and 850Nm — but the lads at Wheelsandmore decided to add even more muscle.
And not just a little more. A whole lot more.
They bolted bigger turbos on to AMG’s 4.0-litre V8, modified the exhaust system and remapped the ECU, to produce a crazy 582kW and 1000Nm.
Then, to ensure the wunderwagen looks like even more of a King of the Autobahn bully on the road, the G63 was fitted with 24-inch wheels with 295/30 rubber.
They also offer a couple of milder versions that put out 485kW or a somewhat angrier 522kW.
You’ll have to ask them how many euros they want for their musclebound Mercs.
Even more extreme, over in Trumpland, specialist builder Rezvani has just unveiled its most extreme and capable model to date that it claims is the world’s most powerful production SUV.
Building on the success of its aptly-named Tank, the all new 2020 Rezvani Xtreme Utility Vehicle (XUV) embodies many of the features found in military vehicles.
Under the hood of the Tank X is a 6.2-litre supercharged V8, as used in the Dodge Demon, but tuned further by Rezvani to deliver 745kW and 1180Nm of torque.
It features a steel body-on-frame design and an on-demand four-wheel-drive with all trims.
Rezvani says the street-legal Tank was designed to be a daily driver and an ‘antidote to today’s boring SUV segment.’
Tanks can be had in several guises.
The base model costs from $228,000 in Australian cash, and there’s an armoured version for $441,000, or go the whole hog and get the bulletproof Tank X with a Dynatrac axle set with air lockers and air compressor, Dynatrac ProGrip front and rear brakes, for an eye-watering starting price of $515,000.
Popular options include a thermal night vision system, automatic side steps, and an interior lighting package.
Also available are add-ons such as off-road race-ready Fox suspension, a full leather interior, heated and cooled seats, a Focal audio system, side cameras, dual batteries and an auxiliary fuel tank.
If you’re still worried about your safety, you can also opt for a protection pack against electromagnetic pulses (EMP), which should make it ready to cope with a nuclear war.
Yes, they’re serious.
‘Electro-Magnetic Pulses are radiated after a nuclear explosion and render electronic devices inoperable,’ the company explains.
‘EMP weapons are also used to disable electrical systems prior to a broader attack. Tested at a Department of Defense facility, the EMP protection device is the world’s first electromagnetic pulse (EMP) protection technology for a vehicle’s entire electrical system and is proven to exceed military standards.’
And as for the 24-inch wheels on the Wheelsandmore machine, try 37 inches on the Rezvani Tank X.
Should an enemy attack, (or if a Bugatti tries to overtake) you can deploy the standard equipment smoke screen.
Other standard gear includes Kevlar Armor, bulletproof glass, military-grade run flat tyres, underside explosive protection, ram bumpers, electrified door handles, sirens and strobe lights and blinding front and rear lights.
Almost forgot: you can also choose what colour you’d like for the gauge cluster and naturally it comes with a big central infotainment screen with Apple CarPlay, Google Maps, Pandora, Stitcher, and a suite of apps optimised for use on and off road.
That Irving Berlin song, by the way, was written for the stage play, Annie Get Your Gun.
Annie would need a hell of a gun to stop a Rezvani Tank X.
Not sure what the game plan is if the Internet goes down and you’re Googleless with no navigation and no idea which way to go to escape the invasion . . .